Dear Lord, for some reason, living out my walk with You as a Christian is not working out as I had hoped. I sometimes cannot find the peace You promised nor the intimacy I foresaw with you either. My heart tells me that there is so much more to experience with You. Each day I struggle with my thoughts and desires which I know do not please You. I lose my patience and temper far too easily. My will power to resist sin evades me. I sometimes feel very defeated and worthless and I dislike what I’ve become. I felt that when I gave my life to You, I would receive an automatic infusion of Your holiness that would liberate me from the influences of evil. I so much want to do what is right but, no matter how hard I try, I fail. I want to find answers that will release me to become a dynamo in Your service and the furtherance of Your Kingdom. You encourage me to seek, ask and knock … so I’m trying to do that.
In my search for Your will and Your way, I think I’ve found a clue from Your scriptures that can help me. In II Peter 1:3 I am told … “His divine power has given us everything for a godly life through our knowledge of Him who has called us …” In my reading of these words, I am realizing that You not only saved me but, through Your power, I’ve been plugged into a Heavenly power supply that enables me to lead a holy life. I’m seeing that I can only do what pleases You when I learn to depend on the Holy Spirit. If I ignore Him, it will be impossible to conquer temptation and sin in order to gain a victory over ungodly habits and actions. Like in the salvation of my soul, I also must let You redeem the way that I think and live. Unless I depend solely on the wonder working power of the Holy Spirit, I will be left to struggle with my demons as I have in the past.
As I allow Godly power to be released in my life, things that appeared to be impossible will become possible. In my search for a meaningful walk with You, I’ve come to realize that I was trusting in my own abilities instead of relying on Your supernatural abilities to work in me. I’m coming to see more clearly that Christianity is more than living for You … it’s about letting You live through me. To live as a Christian in my strength is both taxing and often discouraging. As I begin to seek out the Holy Spirit to guide and empower me, Your love will begin to flow out of me for all to see. Becoming more like You means giving up control, stopping my efforts to be good enough and letting You to be You in me. If I do these things, You will lead me to where I belong, doing what I should be doing. By following Your lead, I know I will find my way. And it’s in Jesus’ name I pray. AMEN!!
John 10:2-4 The watchman opens the gate for Him (the Shepherd) and the sheep listen to His voice. He calls His own sheep by name and leads them out. When he has brought out all of His own, He goes ahead of them and His sheep follow Him because they know His voice.